Manager tool 02
Difficult conversation planner
Plan a direct, fair conversation that focuses on facts, impact and a useful next step.
Best for
Early concerns about behaviour, working relationships, attendance or performance
Time
10 minutes before the meeting
Reviewed
10 September 2026
Pause and get HR or specialist advice if...
- The concern is serious enough that a formal process may be required.
- The employee has raised discrimination, bullying, whistleblowing, health or disability concerns.
- You cannot describe the concern using specific facts and examples.
1. Get clear before you speak
What have I personally observed or verified?
What is the impact on the work, team or individual?
What assumption or bias might I be bringing?
What would a useful outcome from this conversation look like?
2. Plan a neutral opening
Try: 'I wanted to talk about [specific situation]. I have noticed [fact]. The impact has been [impact]. I would like to understand your perspective.'
- Choose a private setting and allow enough time.
- Use recent, specific examples. Avoid 'always', 'never', labels and second-hand gossip.
- Be clear whether this is an informal conversation or part of a formal process.
3. Make it a two-way conversation
How do you see the situation?
Is there anything affecting your work that I should understand?
What support or clarity would help?
What do you think needs to happen next?
4. Close with clarity
- Summarise the concern and the employee's response without changing their meaning.
- Agree specific actions, support, owners and a realistic review date.
- Make a proportionate factual note and share any agreed record.